Change How You See, Not Just How You Act

Alfie Kohn is all about unconditional parenting and using techniques that work with your children rather than do to your children.  One of his 13 principles in his book entitled "Unconditional Parenting" is to change how you see and not just how you act.  He talks about the difference between conditional and unconditional parents in the case of "bad behavior".  Conditional parents will see the behavior as something that needs to be punished but, "Unconditional parents are apt to see the same act as a problem to be solved, an opportunity for teaching rather than for making the child suffer" (Kohn, p. 124).

It takes A LOT more patience to try and work with and teach your children than to just inflict consequences for their actions.  Kohn calls for a much higher level of thinking within parents and urges them to put themselves in their children's shoes; to see as they see.

We learn in the scriptures that, "Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:4).  Our children are our greatest teachers and can help us change how we see and act if we're only willing to take the take to work with them.  We are more the beneficiaries of this than our children.